is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
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If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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