you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
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so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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