D3 body, D1 cock
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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