Are we in a gay sports bar?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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