I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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