You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize