I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize