He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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