I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
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i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
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On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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