Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize