I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize