just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
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Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
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The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
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