I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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