Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
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people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize