Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
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This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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