What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize