last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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