We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
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Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
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It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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