Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize