Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
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Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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