I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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