Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize