Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
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I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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