i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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