Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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