Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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