dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My pussy is not your playground.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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