Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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