Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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