doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize