Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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