Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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