Apparently you make a good broom.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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