We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
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Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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