Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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