i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
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He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
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