dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
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I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
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So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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