Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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