How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Randomize