please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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