Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
try to milk me bitch
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize