She's JV to your varsity
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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