My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize