i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize