They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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