She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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