Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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