happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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