I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize