I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
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My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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